Me...Well....Some of me

So Maybe I should have started from the beginning...Usually I don't get all angry and sweary and that kind of jazz, but lately life seems to be cheering me on...taunting me....asking me to rant...LOL...So I started this blog. It all started with My boyfriend's older Brother, he had this awesome blog on this site (Xiolo's Space). He posted a picture of my boyfriend in Afghanistan on his site...and I wanted to do the same kind of thing :D. You see as much as I am lost in my thoughts to how I should feel about him being gone, I am extremely proud of him and what he does everyday to appease our country. Okay...see I'm going off on a rant already lol...Let me explain me life to you...or try to....

I grew up in a small town...Then I moved into the city. My opa fought in Word War II and war was never discussed in our family. You see, my Opa was held in a concentration camp for several years...Our family was not allowed to talk about the war...about war...about guns...knives...or any sort of violence. Don't get me wrong...our Family is very well educated in the happenings of the world, but I guess you can say it is extremely easy to feel dissociated from the "real feelings" of war. Guns were not allowed in the house and neither were any sort of weapon. Then....Then I met the man of my life, I never thought he would be in the military and have a "slight" obsession with guns and knifes *cough* slight *cough* LOL! You might wonder what my first question was to him on our first date...it went like this, "Are you planning on going on any tours any time soon?" and his answer was honest (from what he knew at the time) and he said, "Not until Jan of '08...And if I don't resign my contract I wont be going." Well didn't I feel great! I meet this INCREDIBLY good looking guy and I had A GOOD two years with him before all hell might break loose...until a month and a half later...all hell did break loose...And I now officially have a boyfriend living on the base in Afghanistan. We've been together for 5 months...and I know I want to marry this perfect guy, but do you want to know the truth? We have been together for 5 months...and have only really been TOGETHER (in the presence of each other) for 2 months. By the time he gets home, we'll have been together for 8+ months...and have only been TOGETHER for 2. This is the start of my story...
Never forget (in between all my teary rants and swearing, angry posts) that I am desperately in love with him and couldn't leave him if I tried.... If you can understand that....