Breakdown X 2

SO.....Trevor is now coming home on the 10th.....Therefore.....12 Days until HUGS AND KISSES AND LOVING AND CRYING AND MORE HUGS....

But......Because he is so close to coming home....I have officially become a FRIGGIN NUT CASE! My emotions are WORSE then when he left!! YIKES!!!

So....The last week or so I have been on the verge of tears about every hour at work....but I've managed to "breathe" through the phases....until today....What happens today you ask?

I drove out to my doctor's appointment around 12:30pm....FUCK PARKING.....grrr....anyway that's a whole different story.....but anyway....as I drive back to work around 2ish....I stop at Timmies to pick up my LOVELY coworker an Iced cap :D.....and I roll down my window....FINALLY shut off my music....so I finally her this sort of noise ....WHOCKWHOCKWHOCKWHOCKWHOCK.....so I put it into park.....nothing....then I put it back ino drive.....WHOCKWHOCKWHOCKWHOCK.....fuck....That's not a pretty noise....something "belt" like....but it get's even better....I decide to take it for a drive (with the music off) and I notice then everyonce and a while, when I turn corners, I hear an EVEN MORE SICKENING NOISE.....something along the lines OF BONES BREAKING....SON OF A BITCH! I think my ball bearings are going.....AGH! What's even better....I notice the hood of my car is now steaming...and I look down at my guages...and low and behold....my car is running PAST "WARNING YOUR CAR IS FUCKING HOT" stage.....DAMNIT.....so I park it....walk into work...sit back down at the receptionist desk....call the automotives...get an appointment....call AMA to pick me up and drive me there....then I look over at my boyfriend's picture....reach for the phone to call him to see if he'll pick me up...or just to cry to him....and OH HEY....That's right....I CAN"T.....okay.....this is breakdown number two....and my biggest no no ever.....NEVER EVER LET YOUR COWORKERS SEE YOU CRY,....ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE HAPPY SMILING FACE AT THE FRONT DESK....but damnit...I BAWLED....like a little baby.....I just wish he were home...

I'm not sure any of you reading this will understand....if you do...YAY....if not...that's cool....but When you absolutely CANNOT pick up the phone to ask your guy to bail you out of a "car" situation....or even call just to cry....wow....I'm just so sick of this...and it's SSSOOO close to being over....I'm ECSTATIC....but then something like this just HAS to happen 1 1/2 weeks prior to hi being home....son of a bitch...

What's even worse....I can't afford this now....most likely it's my rad....which is at least 200....plus ball bearings....THOSE COST AN ARM AND A LEG....and hopfully I don't need to fix the core temp in my car....I love my car....it's my baby....my life...I LOVE IT...But I can't afford all that....I'm going to school in the fall....ahh shoot.....what a day....what a day...

Fuck...FUCK....and FUCK IT ALL SOM'MORE!!!!

Okay....Please bear with me....

Trevor signs onto msn at 2am this morning....and what does he tell me?! He'll most likely be coming home on the 10th....around 7am or 7pm....so.....why is this so FUCKED THE FUCK UP?!?!

Well....as some of you know...I teach swimming lessons....have for over 2 years...and LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE doing it :D Man I love those kids...anyway....The pool system is in HUGE FRICKIN DESPERATE need of more instructors....but they need more INSTRUCTOR TRAINERS....so they can train up more instructors....welll this "IT" course costs a couple hundered....so not many people have the certificate....so the pool I work at offered to pay my way if I took the 3 day course....I SAID HELL FUCKING YES! WOOT WOOT!

Get this shit......

The course....is Friday the 9th through Sunday the FUCKING 11th! DAMNIT FUCKING SHIT HOLE FUCK FUCK DAMNIT HELL C(*&&....GAH! Ugh....I'm out of swear words....I'm just so pissed....THIS IS THE SECOND TIME it's happened where I'm out of the city when he comes home from somewhere...LET ALONE A FUCKING THIRD WORLD COUNTRY from 5 months away!

So.....he says...."well, I'll drive out to Spruce Grove and pick you up from your course"....well now 20+ civvies are gunna wonder why the fucking I'm screaming like a girly girl and crying my frickin brains out while I CLING my entire body to a 6'7" man!!

AND....I BOUGHT A BRAND-THE-FUCKING new dress for his home coming...and now he won't see it....he says, "Well, I'll take you out for dinner and you can show it to me!" BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME!!! OH BOO!!! FUCKEHIHOIUEFNHWFLIUHLIUGHWYDQFGUTYFGVCJQHVB GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

So the poor man watched me BAWL my fucking eyes out webcam for like half an hour.... (at 2am in the morning....so he felt like shit...and i felt like shit for making him feel like shit)

So he calls me this morning before work....he had begged his crew commander to let him phone me....just to make sure I had a good day....and to not worry about his home-coming...

So I couldn't have a bad day....because hearing his voice makes everything okay....especially since I hadn't heard his voice for over a week and a half....

But FUCK....and yes I swore a FUCKING lot in this post...but I"M SO FUCKING MAD!!!....

:D Laters

The Uterus

Ok....so....This is how I would like to start : If I did not UTTERLY and ABSOLUTELY love children to death....I would MOST DEFINITELY have my uterus removed....

Yes I did say it....and no, I am not lying....*mutter*fucking bloating/cramps/bleeding/tampons/pads/tylenol/mood swings*mutter*

Against popular belief, NO I DON'T ENJOY BEING A MOOD SWINGING, BITCHY, PMSING woman :( It is not enjoyable...and no, I do not find pleasure in it. I feel TERRIBLE to see the reprecussions it develops on my beloved man....poor boy :(

But....I would like to post a most RE-OCCURING rant for me (this does not include my current boyfriend :D)....

I am not the type of girl to walk around bitching about my cramps and bloatingness when I'm enduring my monthly....So.....when I am asked by ANYONE....not just you men out there....how I am doing today (during my monthly), I will answer with a straight face that I feel like shit because of my cramps....NO, I DO NOT SAY, "DAMNIT, THE INNER LINING OF MY V-REGION IS BEING TORN FROM IT'S WALLS AND IS POURING OUT OF ME!!" (Which by the way I would love to do one day...)....no no no....I Say, "I'm not feeling so hot, my cramps are pretty rough"....BUT THEN SHIT HITS THE FAN!

WHAT?!?! THE MINUTE I SAY THAT, EVERY man in the room gives me the fucking DEATH STARE and makes me feel inadequate! So this is the point I'm making...

No....I do not SCREAM BLOODY MURDER when my cramps take over and start kneading the inner lining of my uterus into rapid successive waves to remove it's bloody lining....and I don't tell people that that is what is happening....I simply tell them the truth....I hurt...and I don't feel so hot....BUT....for some EFFED up reason, women need to stay all HUSH HUSH on the DL about their monthly...like NO ONE knows it exists!?!?! FOR FUCK SAKES....WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT IS....and that we have it! You wouldn't be alive today if it didn't exist...why the hell can't I say out loud that I am having bad cramps.....PLUS, I ONLY SAY IT WHEN I'M ASKED.....UGH!!!!! Please....give me my sanity and don't expect me to whisper about my fucking WELL KNOWN BIOLOGY problem! BLAH! And if so....don't ask me how I'm doing....There....that's it...

Don't ask me how I'm doing, if you don't want to know :)

(Love you baby....You've always been good about that :) <3)

3am...5am...6am...Flowers?!?!

What do they all have in common, you ask?!?!

THEY MADE UP MY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

3am-Valentine's Day morning...Trevor signs onto msn...I'M FRANTICALLY RUN AROUND THROWING GEL INTO MY HAIR AND PUTTING MASCARA ON so he can see me on webcam :)....half an hour....he let's me go back to bed...Tell's me he'll call me after work to wish me a Happy Valentine's..

THEN...

5ish am hits-Valentine's Day morning...Trevor signs into msn AGAIN! I'M FRANTICALLY RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM TO WET MY HAIR AND RE-GEL IT AND TO WIPE THE SLEEP OUT OF MY EYES so he can see me on webcam :)...he tells me he is just waiting out his time so the guy currently on the phone will get off SO HE CAN CALL ME!!!! WOOHOO!!! Half an hour later...:

BAM! He signs off Uber fast and randomly and 5 minutes later...SHAZAM! The phone rings!...

6am-Valentine's Day morning.....Trevor phones me...I pick it up and all I hear is...Hiya Beautiful....OH MY FRIGGIN HOLY LOVING LIFE....I LOVE THAT MAN!!!....

Then....

12:30pm-Valentine's Day Lunch Hour....my switch board phone rings (NO surprise there...for some reason A GAZILLION idiots DON'T eat lunch apparently and spend their lunch hours phoning other business....grrr...hehehe)...BUT THIS TIME...It's my MOMMY! and what does she say?! FLOWERS FOR YOU!!! THEY CAME!!! (By the way...I was sitting on PINS AND NEEDLES all day waiting for that call, not only because I knew they were coming, but because as the receptionist on valentine's day, for a company of over 200 people, I had to sign for like 15 flower deliveries! NONE OF THEM MINE LOL!)
SO I SCREAM...when I finish screaming mom tells me it is a HUGE BOUQUET ONLY ONLY my favourite flowers!!! LILLIES!!! White and Pink!!! So now I am jittery in my desk all day waiting to go home to see them...I finally saw them at 6pm...

Ahhh.....6pm-Valentine's Day Night....A huge sigh of relief and devotion as I walk in the door and sitting on the counter are my flowers...I will never stop loving this man....wow....

(P.S. I just HALF-FINISHED watching this movie called "Catch a Fire"....completely political and racial and such...THE FIRST movie I've walked out on because I couldn't handle it emotionally...I left my parent's there to finish it on their own....I WILL NEVER in my LIFE finish that movie....it is TOO real and TOO emtionally draining....OUCH what a fucking HELL HOLE of a world we live in! Fuck War)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Love you sweetheart <3

Posting for....sake of posting?

Anywho....the point is...OMG I HAVEN'T POSTED IN 10 DAYS!!! Damnit, I might just be getting back into a normal life, where posting is now seeming unnecessary...Yes that's right faithful readers.....Even posting about those DAMN F*CKING BINGO CARDS WITH THE SAME COLOURED FREE SPACES seems unnecessary...Why may some of you ask....well others, other who know me well...know this :

TREVOR COMES HOME IN 3 FUCKING WEEKS!!! OMG....LET ME REPEAT IT!!

THREE WEEKS MY FRIENDS!!! He's been gone for 18!!!!! Does that put it into perspective?!?! HOLY FRICKIN MOTHER OF PEARL!!! THREE....3....TROIS....DRE....3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

IT's TTTHHHHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE WEEKS!!! WOOT WOOT!!! Oh by the by...I'm also uber excited because Trevor ordered flowers for me to come in on Valentine's day!! WOOT WOOT! 2 more days till my second set of flowers from the 'Ghan!

OH NEW POINT.....Trevor is OFFICIALLY out of THAT country in around 17 days!!! HOLY CAMOLY!!! YES!!! NO MORE WORRYING IF HE'S DEAD IN A DITCH! And he'll be shooping for my engagement ring during his decompression! YES! *double arm pumps* (I think I'll convince him to look for a princess cut solitaire with pink sapphire baquettes! PRETTY!)

Like this one ------------>

Home soon Baby! Love you very much!

EEEE!!! NEW RUMOUR, NEW HAPPINESS!!

Okay....let me start with this again : This is a rumour....BUT IT IS SO GOOD I AM GOING TO BELIEVE IT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF HAPPINESS!!!

*phew....here goes!....

Rumour is....Trevor comes home on the 6TH OF MARCH NOW...NOT THE 10TH OF MARCH!!!

Omg...I never knew the day would come when 4 days less would seem like HEAVEN!!! BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!! That means it's not 4 WEEKS and 5 Days until he is home...it is 4 Weeks and 1 DAY!!! That makes a huge difference!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE it's ONLY 4 WEEKS!!! That seems like nothing compared to the last 17 Weeks he's been gone!!!

Okay....breathe....LESS THAN 1 MONTH UNTIL HE IS OUT OF THAT COUNTRY!!! And only 5 days after that until he steps on Canadian ground again!!!

WOOPPPIIIEEE!!!! (BTW he's been gone for 3 Months 3 Weeks and 3 Days!)

LOVE YOU BABY!

Woah...this is a long one!

YES! I HAVE A COMPUTER AGAIN!

Okay....so the long and short of it...When I quit my job they had to take the laptop back, AAAAAHHHHHHHHH MY LIFE CRASHED DOWN AROUND ME! NO MORE CONTACT WITH TREVOR 24/7, for just in cases lol! BUT, I figured I could just sleep in "Trevor's Room" beside our home computer and do it that way. BUT...I come home the day I quit to set up the home computer with all of my stuff...AND BAM! I RUN INTO HELLISH PROBLEMS!

Background: This home computer hasn't been turned on for like 8/9 months or more! My mom just uses her lap top and I always just used mine. Therefore, when I turn it on, it was like Pandora's Box! Okay sorry...long story short...The IP address was running at a 169.xxx.... and I asked Trevor's big bro about that and he told me that meant our computer wasn't pulling our IP address properly...I unplug the modem...restart the comp...plug the modem back in...then unplugged the router...then plugged it back in...(In between all that I had to disconnect our anti-virus and firewall protector)....this worked....until I had to restart the comp...and the damn internet wouldn't connect AGAIN! I figured out it was our SHITTY anti-virus/firewall provider...our firewalls were conflicting and we didn't have the proper updates! Soooo....I had to remove the one we had...find our login name and password...download the NEW software...then UPDATE OVER 40 UPDATES ON THE COMPUTER! GAH! TALK ABOUT THE STONE AGE! YIKES! No wonder the computer wasn't working properly! Anywho....over 4 hours later...TADA! I can now fall asleep beside a working, running computer all night AGAIN :D For the "just-incase-Trevor-signs-ons"!!!

By the by....I HAVE RECEIVED in the last three days....TWO PHONE CALLS AND 1 MSN CONVO!!! OMG....EACH PHONE CALL WAS JUST OVER AN HOUR!!! WOOT WOOT!!!

Oh and by accident Trevor let slip that he had flowers ordered for me...to arrive on VALENTINE'S DAY!! <3>

OH OH...and Trevor was talking to me on the phone yesterday about the type of ring he is going to get for me in Cypress....it went like this...

Background info : My dad asked Trevor to bring an Afghani rock home (Yup...I don't get it either), but dad said he just wants a piece of the terrain...he's apparently interested...what a cute papa! Anywho...When I was on the phone with Trevor, dad asked me to ask him if he got the rock...I tell dad that Trevor says yes...and Dad says, "Good...tell him if he comes home without the rock he can't marry my daughter!" so I say this to Trevor and you know what he says..."Does he mean the rock...or the diamond?!" ROFL! YES *double arm pumps* I GET A DIAMOND WOOT WOOT!!! Anywho...we were talking about how I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE *PUKE* *PUKE* *PUKE* MASSIVE solitaire diamonds...like the ones on the really skinny girls that look like it's going to drag her knuckles to the ground and force her to drag them like an ape! and the ones that are so big they twist on the finger and end up on the palm side anyway! So my point was, that I like unique fancy rings with coloured stones (mostly the saphire or rubies) with a smaller diamond in the middle. He wrote it all down and is looking for one in Cypress!!! OH BE STILL MY HEART! And he is STILL planning on purchasing a suit there!! YAY! ONLY 5 WEEKS AS OF TODAY UNTIL TREVOR LANDS IN EDMONTON!!!

Love ya Trevor!