Crap...Stupid holidays

So...I officially broke down at work today...oy...I NEVER cry at work.
AND...I was doing sssoo well for a while...I am now officially able to count DOWN the days, instead of UP, because we've hit the "half-way" mark for his tour. AND I was uber excited about Christmas and all....and then...Around 10am at work today...I just broke down...on the phone with my mom. She told me she was going to buy presents for me FROM TREVOR....so that I can open presents "from Trevor" on Christmas day. I don't know what it was....but I just lost it, I started bawling on the phone. It doesn't help that our office is as tiny as a fat man's bathroom and that everyone can hear me on the phone. I knew it was just one of those moments that pop up out of nowhere and hit you hard, but only last for about an hour. Yet, this time it happened at work...not cool :(
It's just that the holiday season is such an incredible time for my family...we are all so close and we always make Christmas a big deal, and all I see are people with their loved ones for Christmas, and I won't have Trevor around for our FIRST Christmas together. Also, our 6 month mark is coming up in about a week and it all just hit me today when my mom called. I just want him home so bad, I can't imagine how he is feeling with Christmas right around the corner and NOONE to celebrate with, as he is out at a FOB fighting on the front lines....the only Christmas tree is in the Engineer's tent...and it is a marijuana tree *GIGGLE* with candy canes hanging from it. He must be feeling so alone...and I hate that idea that he might be feeling that way...I want to hold that man so bad, and today was just one of those days....BUT
My sister brought in to the office this AWESOME S'MORE MAKING MACHINE...with mini flames....so after I cried in the bathroom for about an hour, she made me s'mores to make me feel better....it was great! Except I stabbed my thumb with the spear...and it bled on my marshmallow *HEHEHEHE* oh man...I have such great stories to tell Trevor when he comes home...I just hope that comes faster than it feels right now...